Fake Friends- Do You Have One?

The majority of us have been lucky enough to come across at least one or two freaks in our lifetime who decided to call themselves our best friends.

They are the people who you know you can uncover your dirtiest most shameful secrets to and recieve no judgment in their response, and of course ensure you that your secret is safe with them. I know that I am eternally grateful for the people I’ve been blessed with in my life. I picked some real winners to throw myself at in the school yard.

However, this post is dedicated to that OTHER category of friend we sometimes cross paths with. The worst people in the universe (okay maybe that’s a bit of an over statement but it sounds nice and dramatic.) The fake friend.

I’m going to tell you a little story, about my own personal experience with a ‘friend’ who seemingly wrote the book on fakery. This girl thought that the definition of friendship was finding common ground with me so that she could ultimately move in with me and steal my money and jewellery. Didn’t see that coming? Well neither did I.

So you see, it can be tricky to spot a fake, but I have compiled a list that I think should set off some warning bells and send you running for a padlock to safeguard all your prized possessions. Here it is:

– If she seems to agree with everything that you say/ask. Now I’m talking creepily agreeable. A lot of our friends share common interests with us, but if she’s telling you a dress looks fantastic on you when you know for a fact you look like a beached whale crossed with a transvestite, you should probably start cutting your ties. She wants you to look shit so that she looks better. Bottom line.

– All of her other friends ditched her. Obviously there can sometimes be an exception to this one. Us girls are bitches we know that, or she may have just been unlucky enough to have only come into contact with fake friends herself. However, if all of her past friends have left her for dead and she has no idea why this happened 90% of the time (at least) it’s because they realised she was an idiot.

– She tells you the deepest darkest secrets of other people that consider themselves to be close to her. Nothing says fake like a person telling you something you feel uncomfortable knowing about someone else. If you feel like it well and truly crosses the line of a gossip/bitch session then cross her off the list. Unless of course you want everyone on the planet to know about your least proud moments?

– And finally if she steals anything from you, its pretty safe to say she wouldn’t care too much if you fell right off of a cliff onto some jagged rocks covered in razor blades. Real friends know that if they love something of yours all they have to do is ask to borrow it. And if its money, again real friends look out for each other.

So hopefully this brief list will help you to separate the real from the fake, and if not then I sure hope you have insurance.

Please, feel free to comment and share your own personal experience with a fake friend below, or, visit and post away.


One thought on “Fake Friends- Do You Have One?

  1. And the fake friend will think nothing of overtly flirting with your boyfriend and when caught out, tell qyou he was flirting with them or worse
    Love your write ups Scarlet

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